Gotta let you know

When will you see that I am affected
I try too hard to keep your feelings protected
That I am the one left wounded in the end
Should've kept it real instead of pretend
That I was ok when u slacked
When in truth it was anger that away I packed
So Am I partially to blame? Maybe so
But here is one thing I do know
EverYone has to take account for their part
Something you failed to do from the start
Cuz if that was what you first chose
I wouldn't b ready to leave you to tHese popcorn hoes
I refuse to accept less than what I'm worth
No matter how much you try to charm me with your gerth
As women we always love hard
And we never want to have to pull your card
But when we have been in the past abused
Sometimes shit gets blurry and can b easily confused
Never do we want to feel used and unappreciated
Time can't heal all wounds until past has completely faded
Which never happens til our demise
So please don't act like my words come as a surprise

Dickspiration

As your luv enters me
My mind goes numb
The way you beat it ever so gently
Like an African drum
Mmmm mmmm mmmm
You sure know how to make me weak
Grand Canyon ain't got shit on your peak
There's levels to this shit man
You make my yoni snap back like rubber bands
Have MERCY!
Make me speak in tongues
Oh I love how you give me sum
That yaya dada make me holla
Lovin how you give it to me propa
You create an undeniable inferno inside me
One that doesn't come for free
One stroke,  two strokes three strokes four
Do with me what you will, from the bedroom to the front door

Acceptance is joy

I owe it to me to be better to me
I have a chance to be everything I wanted to be
The day will soon come wHen they'll all believe
Just what I was destined to achieve
Loving me means accepting my flaws
Once you do that, u know longer feel their claws
Their words ripping into every inch of your soul, bringing ur breath to a pause

I owe it to me to be a better me
I have a chance to be everything they never thought I could be
Take your best shot but trust,  I won't fall
The writing's on the wall
I didn't make it this far to turn back
I worked hard for this and that's a fact
So fuck all you haters and perpetrators

My victories will leave you breathless, on resporators

Your words no longer mean shit to me

Today is the day that you will see

That no matter what, blessings are meant for she

I will no longer walk around giving a fuck

I will walk past their piercing eyes and tell em to suck

The entire shaft, not just the tip....

Acceptance is pure joy, you can live life and make plans

And now that it is within my hands

It will never be released from my grasp...

U.O.E.N.O.

Inside these four walls many do not see
But yet they claim they know me
Everyday is a struggle for my voice to be respected
I walk around keeping my heart and soul protected
At the end of the day I guess we're all part of the game
We live our lives differently but all come from the same
I pray for the Lord's strength to fight another day
For we all are gonna leave this earth the same way
We do what we gotta do to get By
Some staying the same, others reaching a new High
The truth will always come to light in place of dark deception
The evil of others spreading like a mass infection
Gotta stay ahead of the game and never allow it to consume my soul
Cuz once it takes over,  the shit is hard to control
Friends become enemies, enemies become friends
Sometimes you can peep it before it happens,  but it all depends
That's why I keep my circle tight
And stay ready to go to jail for any of them, day and night
I never walk into a room ready to cause confrontation
But better believe I'm ready to flex in any situation
Don't come for me unless I send for you
And if you wanna try me, just watch what the fuck I do....

Faded Glory

Can't get u off my mind
Steady thinking about u all the time
You got my heart in a war zone
Expecting to be alone
Our conversations repeatedly playing in my head
Always the last thing on my mind before going to bed
Thinking of you is a pleasant distraction
A beautiful nightmare...reality visible by just a fraction
I never wanted things to end
Now I can only be a friend
You put such a move on my heart
The surgeon couldn't tell our beats apart
My love for you then ran deep
I would've done anything to make that leap
But as it seems the cost of love was too much for you to pay
And I quite frankly couldn't stay
I had to do what was best for me
I refused to play second fiddle to she
The passion I had for you can NEVER be denied
Not even to this day Not even if I tried
Sometimes I wish it was just as obvious that you felt the same for me
But it is clear how things will now and for always be
So I guess farewell are all the words I have left now
To live with these emotions for you forever I don't know how
I hope that love will come back around for you again
Just know that no matter the distance I will always consider you to be my close personal friend

Truly Madly Deeply

Many times I feel misunderstood
So much shit I would take back if I could
It sucks when you open up to someone about how you feel
And you're left feeling like a mouse on display in a spinning wheel
To the outside world it seems like you're having a ball
When on the inside you're feeling like your lungs have reached capacity
Ready to collapse
You find yourself in this race against time
To find out why your life is going down this line
Heart steady pacin
As your feet are steady racin
No different from love
They say there's no way you could love more than one
And to that I say you're dumb
You cannot help your emotions
There are no pills
No potions
Just the raw emotion you were born with
That shit that'll make you plead the fifth
Cuz no one will ever understand
Not child,  woman or man
The truth is sometimes a hard pill to swallow
Something we all demand but are afraid to follow
I have no problem admitting my flaws
Especially if it will ultimately help the cause
I don't think we will ever find that one person that has it all
But we all deserve to have someone who is at all times willing to catch us when we fall
This goes out to those stuck in the matrix of the mind
Where true love gets lost in translation even though it seems so easy to find
Had I been able to speak my peace long ago
Who knows how things would have been on the other side of the door
For now and always I will remain
Truly Madly Deeply...
But not in vain

Excuse me as I kiss the sky
Bout to roll up a fatty and get high.....

P.e.a.c.e.

Sweetest Taboo

There's something about the way you touched me that drove me crazy
The shit you did to me made my vision hazy
The rapid o's are hard to believe
And even harder to deceive
The way you dissected every part of me was amazing
And in the end you'd always go out guns blazing
You had my heart on fiya
Burning with true desire
No one will ever compare
Nor shall anyone dare
You are the ultimate pleasure
And shall be a lucky wife's treasure
You'll always wonder what if
Just as that cocky will always get stiff
Just as I remember the joy I will always remember the pain
And I will always think of you when it begins to rain
The sweetest thing I've ever known
You're like a kiss on a collar bone
Xoxo u so fine
Can I still get a 69?
Every time I hear Kem I'll think of you
And all the little tricks you used to do
That made the coochi go whoop whoop
Ooh sweetest taboo
I'll always love u.....

Mirrors

Like sand in an hourglass
These are the days of our lives
We're all pawns in the Devil's game
Abiding time
As we tread the waters
We look out to the daunting sea
Giving back the reflection of who we really are
As the clock ticks
We come closer to our demise
We seek the Most High for guidance
And what does He show us
But the reality of where we are in our lives
Despite the Devil'plans
We must move diligently and steadfast
Towards that of which is promised to us
So when the mirrors of life give you a reflections of yourself that you may not like
You must take responsibility
Make changes
And make a difference

You won't get a second chance to get this shit right....

The rain

The rain... It feeds you the rawest emotions
Straight, no chaser
Can't handle the pressure, shit is rising like vapors
can't stand the rain beating against my window pane waiting for sunshine again
tell me weather man, when will this end?
The rain and tears flowing as one
Becoming synonymous, forming a bond
The clouds as grey as my heart
You really can't tell the two apart
When shall we again see sunny skies?
Are these really and truly the days of our lives?
Bills, house, husband, child, cat, violence around town
So many things on my mind, stessin, feelin bogged down
I need a release, but see none in sight
Trying to be a strong woman with all my might
But having to deal with all this shit ain't right
I close my eyes and turn my attention on the Lord
Asking Him to reveal the answers and attack my problems with His almighty sword

thin line

there's a thin line between love and hate

the side u choose to be on decides your fate

you wonder if you should love the ones you hate and hate the ones you love so deep

no matter what you decide, to someone, you are always the creep

you risk it all for those you love because you love hard, a fighter til the end

and in the end there you are, left feeling as cheap as an infomercial on late night CNN

the person you loved soo dearly quickly becomes the person you despise

because they suddenly unfolded right before your eyes

your hurt, your heart bruised and battered

while they act as if shit between you never really mattered

you are left to pick up the pieces and get your life back

it's a lonely road getting it on track

these tears

these tears i cry sure won't b the last
as i continue to strive for more and put my best foot forward
i keep getting haunted by the past.
i thought for sure that those negative emotions would pass
like sands in an hourglass
guess i was wrong afterall
saw the rise but never anticipated the fall
i took the dive and answered the call
but maybe it wasn't for me
only more time will truly tell
what is to become of this latest spell
i wonder if u will b able to notice that i fell
it will surely b part of the story i tell
without the testimony, you can't appreciate the struggle or understand why in the midst of the storm, shit is goin so well
my days may not always b swell
but it is better than some folks definition of hell

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Jibberish

Rotating around like the sun around the Earth. 
Living life day to day trying to figure out what it's really worth. 
Good times, bad times, and we've lived through them all.
 All standing out like cracks in the wall. 
Like a road winding down, you wonder where it will end. 
You wonder who will be around, if you'll even have a friend. 
You sit by the window watching the birds fly by. 
While you roll a Dutch Master, about to get high.
The sky looks about three shades of blue, and so does your heart. 
If you put it in comparison with the sky, no one would tell either apart. 
As you continue to gaze, the clouds begin to turn gray.
Like those areas in your life that you wish would just go the fuck away....

*THROWBACK EDITION* I AM ME...PHENOMENALLY

It's funny to me how people think that the things they have in their life makes them better than anybody else under God's light. But if you were to dissect them like a science project, you would realize that they are hiding behind those material things and that just aint right. You run across people that chant everyday about how they are blessed and such a Godly soul. But if you listened to the things coming out of their mouth, you would look at them and wonder how someone with God in their heart is so cold. You have snobby people in this world that seem to believe that because of what they have accomplished, they should be worshiped. But little do they know, no one is paying attention to their bullshit. There are females in this world that seem to think that they are God's gift to men. But if you ask them about the last time they had a man, they couldn't tell you when. Some females (as you see I cant call them women) cant seem to grasp the idea when a man no longer wants to be a part of their life. They begin to act out in jealousy and fear, begging him to keep her as his friend instead of gaining a wife.

I have a certain friend in my life that doesn't choose his friends wisely sometimes. Some may say he chooses then for the material things they posses or for what they can do for him. Most of them are cool and their aura is so genuine. But there is this one that is different from all the others he surrounds himself with. This 1 thinks she is a better person than me....just cuz she has a college degree. She doesn't understand the real fundamentals of a woman and how we operate, either because she is still finding out what it means to be a real woman herself, or because she just chooses to be a lost little girl among the living. This 1 assumes that I have some sort of vendetta against her. Not realizing that the guilty ones will always make themselves obvious. This 1 has done just that. She believes that she can use him  to her advantage and that her sinister plans will soon prevail. This 1 seems to have it in her head that I have self esteem issues and I am insecure because of the feelings I have had for my friend for almost 8 years, but if you took a look at her, you would see that she has features only her mother or a man that wants her money would love. On one hand you would say, why be mad? My thoughts are like this, it is a shame that someone that spent money on a college education can be so ignorant. So why does he continue to befriend her you ask? That you would have to ask him. Maybe he feels that she provides him with something that I don't.  Who knows. But yet it is me that he has pledged his love to. Misery seems to always love company and I guess that this is something that my friend seems to strive for. What he doesn't seem to understand  is that this female that he feels he knows so much about doesn't want him to be happy with any other woman in his life but her. He is oblivious to the fact that she has said things and done things to try to come between us. She would love for me to pack my things and go about my business. And she is real close to getting her wish. See, what my friend doesn't understand is that I have goals and aspirations that are bigger than him and the ignorance she posses. It's hard to try building a life with someone when they have both positive and negative influences that they are bringing to the table. So why exit and let her get the upper hand, you ask? Because too many times females take women out of their character and these women find themselves behind prison walls. I know how the story goes. My own fam has been there. I am determined to not go that route. But at the same time, this 1 chooses to test me. The fate of my future is more important to me than any man I love or any family I wish to have with him. If he wants to have people like that in his life, that is fine. I cannot stop him. But what I can and choose to stop is getting myself caught up in situations with this 1 that is going to hinder the possibilities for all the blessings God has yet to bestow upon me. I have so many positive things to look forward to in this lifetime before the next. Why let someone that he has in his life take that away from me? So as she has stated, he will try to mold me into a clone of her. But I am something that she will never be.A real woman. I am me.... phenomenally.

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN, AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

*THROWBACK EDITION* -BONUS READ- BLACK HISSSTRY

We remember the marches and boycotts of the 60's and how our ancestors fought for our rights as individuals. 
We wish black history was embedded in the minds of today's urban youth.
We often forget about the struggles of the past, which as a result leads to failure of the present due to no sense of a cultured path. 
We ask for forgiveness from the leaders of the past, as we strive for another black unity that will last. 
You said you would give us equality, but you never gave. 
You wanted us to "go back to Africa" so why did you bring us here and make us your slave? 
You tried to tighten our shackles, but we took them off. 
You failed to see our true potential, but we did and now we are better off.

*THROWBACK EDITION-BONUS READ* A DAMN GOOD FANTASY

Time and time again we play this game

The end result always the same

You start playin that Kemistry cd I like

You touch, you tease, you try so hard to please

You whisper sweet things in my ear

Then you work your way down slowly to my underwear

You take your time doin what you do

Makin me do a falsetto like I, I, I, Oooh!

My mind is in a zone...

Im so gone over you, I can't even hear my phone

As I take the last puff of these trees

You start to enter me with ease

It feels sooo good as the rythm builds

Back, forth, back, forth, switch

An hour has passed and the momentum is reaching its peak

You start goin faster and faster

Proving you are the master

As my leg starts cramping and I start to tremble "Im...c...c...com..."

I jump out of my sleep, sweaty, panting

I look around and my vibrator lays there next to me, not you

It's still buzzing with excitement

DAMN!!! MAYBE NEXT TIME

A Dream. A Simple Fantasy That I Wish Was Reality....

*THROWBACK EDITION-BONUS READ* SINGLE LADIES

all the single ladies.... (all the single ladies)

all the single ladies.... (all the single ladies)

all the single ladies.... (all the single ladies)

after three good years i am tired of these motherfucking tears.

you never gave a shit about what i was going through you just wanted to lock down b.

well now you can get your rocks off and nigga it wont be from me.

 ive decided to dip so nigga dont trip.

i dont give a fuck if your mad at me.

cause if you wanted me then you would have been truthful to me.

if you wanted me then you would be able to see.

when you had your chance, you tore that chance apart.

i tried again and all you keep doing is breaking my heart.

you thought that throwing a ring at me was going to make me change my decision.

well clearly you forgot that i was always paying attention.

but that's all good, cause there are bigger and blacker fishes in the sea.

and i will be damned if i let you get anymore cuda from me.

so take this as a lesson learned.

now i shall have my turn.

i think that you should let it burn.

cause if you liked it then you would have gotten your shit together a long time ago.

if you were really serious then you wouldnt have any desire to be near that silly ho.

now i got a blizz in my hand,

eyes on a new man

and i wont pay you any attention,

cause you had more than your turn

it's time for you to learn

how life is fucked up and cant no other bitch do it better than b.

All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)
All the single ladies

Now put your hands up
Wuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh oh
Wuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh oh

cause if you liked it then you should have stuck with b honey

if you were smart then you would know im better than all the money

Wuh uh oh

neva eva

neva eva did i think u wud betray me
u carry yourself like you're such a fucking lady
All the while bitch u were being shady
fucking ur besties man in the 380
now u fucked up havin his baby
now dat niggaz ghost like Patrick swayzey
bitch u dumb crippled and crazy
taking medication on a daily
bitch get up to wash her ass barely
now u walking around looking scary
shudda neva eva crossed me
now the only thing fuckin u is karma
and dat bitch dint leave home w.out her Lama
ooooooh

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