Unconditionally unconditional

Not too sure what happened
But I fell in love with you again
You have always been my number one fan
And closest friend
I was always honest with you
Never one to pretend
And there was a time
That I felt I'd be ok if things came to an end
But somewhere I prayed
That God would intercede
That He would take charge
And show us which way we should lead
Sometimes I looked up to the sky with a heavy heart
And some days with Him I didn't agree
But I know that nothing worth having
Ever came for free
So I decided to put on my armory
And go against the grain
Not knowing if my old feeling
Would ever resurface again
For things put our relationship
Through such a great strain
I could no longer hide the hurt
Or begin to mask the pain
I am not 100 % on how things will go
But I'm willing to try to make this love grow
To higher heights
To places I don't know
I just hope you are ready
To prove and to show

Freestyle #phuckyorhymes

Really beginning to get numb to the bullshit
I just don't wanna speak anymore to anyone
No one can seem to understand where my point of view is
But I'm always supposed to remember them in their emotions
I have to deal with the excuse ppl have for hurting me and be ok with that
Fuck it
I am just destined for this I guess
Wtf else is there to think
I just feel like I'm always looked at like I'm a fuckin dummy
I am not a rug for ppl to walk all over
I love hard and no one goes that hard for me
EVER
After awhile you get tired
You feel defeated
Helpless
And lost
When everyone you love hurts you
Wtf else are you supposed to do
When you feel like you have no voice
Ppl treat u like you're nothing
They are quick to dismiss you
As if you are a stranger
As if they know nothing about your pain
As if they were in some sense punishing you for your disobedience
I just want to disappear
I want them to hurt like I hurt
Then tell me if it feels good
I've been betrayed worse by friends and family than the average person but I still tread the course. ....
Until now.
There has to be a change.
Ppl don't know what they've got til it's gone

Go figure, should have known....

After thinking things could go right they go wrong
I never thought or expected it to turn this way but should have knOwn
The abused will always go back to the abuser
No matter who is colateral damage at the end of the day
A person will risk their entire soul just to feel that venom
Because they don't know what a precious creature of God they are
I will never again put my faith in a friend
For God says to trust no man
Regardless of what the case may be
I will never put shit past anyone again
I now know that my life is solely in my hands
No matter what role others try to play in your life
YOU can only depend and rely on YOU

Deep within...

In the sea of loneliness she begins to drown
Sunny days spent with a frown
Feelin like life as she knows it is goin down
A Queen knocked off her pedestal
Blood dripping as she clinches to her crown
At one point she had it all
By Day shopping in the Dubai mall
By Night in Rome sippin Crystal
She felt like she was standing tall
Those near and far wanted to see her fail
At every turn someone was there with plans to derail
She was cautious but her heart too naive
At times leaving a trail
To which evil followed closely by her tail
Everyone she loved started to look the same
Trifling motherfuckers with no shame
Always ready to give an excuse that's lame
As if to imply their comfort level in this game
I'm not enthused by yet another confession
I highly doubt you have learned your lesson
Maybe you should sit in on anOther session
I will no longer be an object to use at your discretion

Body Party

I told you before that....

My body
Is your party
You're invited
All the faces
All the places
You take me
Drape me with kisses from my head to toe
You know how I love when you go down low
I'm not scared at all when it comes to what you have in store
Matter of fact since last time I've been craving more
Your strokes of my clit sends me on an exploration
Turning off my biological sciences, taking me through a euphoria of ecstasy and leaving me ridden with sleep deprivation
You send me on such a high that the Sears tower doesn't match is size
Ooh how I love making your nature rise
You got me writing this poem and rubbin my thighs
Imagining my hand is yours
As you long to caress my breast and those other places you adore
I'd be happy to take you on another tour

Oh me, oh my

Round and round we seem to go
To what destination only our passions know
I seek to follow what my heart can't help but show
These desires I've kept inside so long it's ready to flow

My pussy just can't stop getting wet
For it's your presence it cannot easily forget
The countless nights you made me sweat
Always reminiscent of how we first met

There was something about you that was amazing like sunrise over the coast
Your sex was fire but to my surprise you weren't one to boast
To the good life we would always toast
Before you devoured me like a roast

Mmm mmmm Mmm,  oh me oh my
This is the reason why
You are my guy
And forever we will fly

Where the hell were you?

When I needed you to be there
When u said u wud care
The times we used to share
When no other bond could compare

Where the hell were u?

Through the up and down
Times you promised to be around
Your shell was there but no sound
The evil cHilling like a loose hound

Where the hell were u?

When in times of doubt
You weren't there to help figure it out
Pain cleaving to my soul, such a terrible bout
When I needed to be digged out from under the grout

Where the hell were u?

No matter what....

Feelin boxed in and it's gettin outdated
Events starting to become duplicated
Not knowing who to trust anymore
Anger burning my kindness away to the core
Mind spinning out of control, can't find the brakes
To have back my peace of mind,  I'll do whatever it takes
Although perplexed on both sides
I will endure it til I get to the end of our lives
If I'm right they say I'm wrong
If I'm wrong they it was so all along

On My Own

So tired of giving all of me to people and gettin nothing in return
But faded memories I wish I could burn
Loyalty no longer means shit
You are just floating thru life, Wondering where do you fit
Sometimes I wish I could get a day pass to Heaven
Just to be able to see those that truly loved me, 24/7
Feeling alone, no one really a true friend
Not willing to downplay my beliefs and morals to gain one or two fake ones in the end
If you really had my back you would show it
And no matter how we fuss figh or argue,  I would still know it
One thing I am certain, is that to know me is to love me
And if your love is subject to waiver,
Then for you I have no favor
I'd rather die knowing the life I lived was true
Never hiding behind bullshit in order to paint a facade that my dark grey skies are blue
I wear my truth in strength for I am not ashamed of the choices I've made
I have gone thru the fire and still came out of the shade
Having too many people in your life is overrated
I'd rather fuck wit those who aren't so fuckin jaded
Save your hundreds of followers for someone who cares
I bet you can NEVER ask any of them to come wipe your tears
I vow from this day forward to love myself enough for me and you
So I no longer have to sit in a sea of my own tears because you lack being true
Fuck it, I'm grown
I'll make it on my own