Caving in

Feeling more depressed everyday
I'd give anything to make things different
But I refuse to sell my soul
Everyday I smoke but it isn't doing anything for me anymore
It's like, why am I wasting my time
I tried all I could to keep it together
But I feel like I'm losing my grip
I no longer find joy in things
My life feels like it is falling apart at the seams
And the worst part of it is not knowing when I'll cave in