Over it and over you

It sucks when all you want to do is get to the end
Like a really bad movie you dont want to subject yourself to
Tried so hard to understand the meaning of my existence but it was shattered
The very person I've trusted my soul to has broken it down over and over again. Idk when or if I'll ever get back to where i was
Damn sure dont have the real support i need
So who knows
Maybe in the next life they'll let me be fre9
Til then i guess I'll just fade away in the wind...with no date of retur n

Like...wtf

Not understanding why I have to get shit from all sides. All I did was say what was on my brain. In my heart. But that apparently I must keep inside. Idk whether I'm coming or going. Trying to find a way back to myself and motherfuckers keep trying my fucking patience. Like wtf is the problem? Wtf can't I have my emotions as well as understand points on both sides? As if to say it is fucking rocket science. IT'S NOT, FUCKING DICKHEAD!  IT'S CALLED BEING HUMAN! I am constantly reminded of how much of a fuck up I am but yet I press thru in the meanwhile.  Nothing much more than that I can do. Once again what I deal with has been diminished to nothing....

So long...

After all this time
U still don't understand
You had the answer
In the palm of your hand
There laid my heart
Beating helplessly
Nothing could be said
To ease the pain
I did all I could
But it wasn't enough
Through tears I said my goodbye
But it fell on your deaf ears

We'll never know

All that remains is this pen
Not one family, not one friend
No more needing to pretend
That I didn't see the end

One life is all I got
So I thought  I'd give it a shot
But my lay up wasn't so hot
Believe it or not

Silly me to assume
That I knew why your roses didn't bloom
Like a bride with no groom
You have self inflicted doom

Thoughts steady racing
Feet steady pacing
What is this I'm facing